Archive for July, 2008
Tilting at Windmills
Thursday, July 31st, 2008Have you heard of The Ugly Law?
Whether it was a law on the books in the early 1970s or only an urban legend, the idea behind it was ugly indeed. The Ugly Law prevented people from going out in pubic if their disability made other people uncomfortable. This delicate issue is handled in a way that is anything but delicate in the eye-opening film Music Within. The restaurant scene rivals the one in Five Easy Pieces.
Music Within, starring Ron Livingston, Melissa George and Michael Sheen, is one of those rare treats–a biopic that is entertaining and inspiring. Filled with dark humor and salty dialogue, Music Within is based on the true story of Richard Pimentel, a passionate advocate for disability rights and jobs for veterans.
From an early age, Richard Pimentel learned to rise above and overcome adversity. In the film, a series of tragedies and his mother’s tenuous grasp on sanity resulted in some of the most bizarre family holidays you’ve even seen. The young boy’s gift for oratory became his salvation as he held his classmates and teachers spellbound with his animated tales.
Returning home from Vietnam with a profound hearing loss, Pimentel suffered a second blow when he was turned down for a job because the government did not want to "waste the GI Bill" on a deaf guy. Pimentel channeled his anger into public speaking and lobbying for the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
On his glorious quest, Pimentel is joined by Art Honeyman, a beautiful mind and hilarious spirit trapped in a body betrayed by cerebral palsy. Pimentel titled his program proposal Tilting at Windmills. In their zeal and their zaniness, Pimentel and Honeyman bear more than a passing resemblance to Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.
If you’re a veteran or a person with a disability, you owe a debt of gratitude to Richard Pimentel. Actually, we all do.
Resources
Disabled American Veterans: View a list of services to help veterans build better lives. Follow legislation and events. Make a donation at dav.org
HirePotential, Inc.: Resources for employers and job seekers relating to The Untapped Workforce (veterans, mature workers and people with disabilities) at hirepotential.com
Kate Adamson: Inspirational speaker (One Hand Clapping: Appreciation Before Accommodation), author (Paralyzed but Not Powerless), stroke survivor at katesjourney.com
July 17 Newsletter
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008If you missed our July 17 newsletter, you can read the archived version by clicking here.
Midlife Misery
Thursday, July 24th, 2008I see them everywhere. At the grocery store, at the doctor’s and dentist’s office, I see haggard-looking midlife men and women with an elderly parent in tow. Some days, I am one of them.
On Feb. 2, the Los Angeles Times published an article by Denise Gellene reporting on a study that found that happiness is lowest at midlife. The article referenced research findings that, "The greatest bliss occurs at the beginning and end of life, while misery dominates middle age."
Researchers Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick in England and David Blanchflower of Dartmouth College in New Hampshire studied the relationship between age and happiness. Gillene’s article stated that the research report was based on a survey involving 2 million people in 80 countries, including the United States. According to the article, after controlling for income, job loss and divorce, the findings indicated that in the United States, women reach their lowest point at 40. Men tank at 50.
Researcher Oswald proposed several theories, but found this midlife misery to be "a mystery" that was unexplained by life events. As a member of The Sandwich Generation, it’s no mystery to me. I have to wonder whether the researchers took caregiving responsibilities into consideration. If they have not seen it, I recommend that they rent The Savages (which I reviewed earlier in this blog).
I’m not suggesting that we wallow in self-pity. We have freedom of choice to approach our caregiving as an opportunity or as a challenge. We can complain, or we can be grateful for the opportunity to be of service, to care for a loved one and deepen our connection. But we’re still human. Some days are better than others.
To read Gillene’s article which discusses other happiness research, follow this link.
Midlife Crisis Knows No Borders
Friday, July 18th, 2008The USA has Hollywood and the NBA, Yosemite and The Statue of Liberty. But we don’t have a monopoly when it comes to midlife crisis. In many countries around the globe, midlife men and women struggle with the same issues.
A dedicated team of people in the United Kingdom manage a website called AMidlifeCrisis. Thanks to the marvels of the World Wide Web, their information is available to people wherever there’s an Internet connection.
AMidlifeCrisis features content on relationships and on psychological, physical, legal, financial and health issues. The information shared on this website (and on the Midlife Menu website, blog and newsletter) is presented for educational purposes and not to be relied upon as professional advice.
When you visit this site, you can read articles about relationships, families, careers and hobbies as they play out in midlife. Since the content is generated in the United Kingdom, some of the words are spelled as they are in Britain and the legal and financial terminology may not always translate or apply to life in the United States. However, most of the topics are universal in their reach.
Whether we’re trying to stoke up a sluggish metabolism or create a second family, we all can use a little help. As members of The Sandwich Generation, many of us are raising young children or supporting adult children and caring for aging parents as we juggle our own careers. No wonder our libidos crash and we feel tired all the time.
Visit AMidlifeCrisis. Take the first step and turn your midlife crisis into an opportunity. Your problems won’t disappear, but you may feel in better shape to handle the surprises life has in store for you.
June Newsletter
Thursday, July 10th, 2008If you missed our June newsletter, you can read the archived version by clicking here.
Horsing Around
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
"Nobody hurts my horse!"
That line is one of my favorites from the film Hidalgo starring Viggo Morgenstern as the legendary rider, Frank Hopkins. As a young girl, I read Black Beauty. Later, I dreamed that I was Velvet Brown.
Years ago, I took riding lessons. These days my passion for horses is confined to watching films, PBS specials and spellbinding performances by the World Famous Lipizzaner Stallions. Still I dream that one day, I’ll be in a position to rescue a whole herd of mustangs like Cloud or Hidalgo.
I’m well aware that failing to plan is planning to fail. I also know that life is lived in the moment. The present is just that–a gift. Webster defines hobby as "a pursuit outside one’s regular occupation, engaged in for relaxation." I also think that a hobby, whether it’s skydiving or a love of horses, is a gift we give ourselves.
I used to think that when I retired, I would have time for hobbies. I now have a completely different perspective on both retirement and on hobbies. I’m not waiting for any ceremonial date on my calendar. I’m having fun now! I travel to powwows. I’m a rock hound and a musical theater aficionado. From June through September, the Hollywood Bowl is my second home. I have a collection of rubber stamps and a closet full of needlepoint kits.
What gets your juices going? Do you enjoy physical activities like running or organized sports? Are you an artist or a musician? Maybe you’re more of a a spectator, a sports fan or a collector.
To fan your creative spark into a bonfire, you might read On Becoming an Artist: Reinventing Yourself Through Mindful Creativity by Ellen Langer. If you’ve always dreamed of becoming a writer, you might pick up a copy of The Writer Within You: A Step-by-Step Guide to Writing and Publishing in Your Retirement Years by Charles Jacobs.
If you have no idea what you want to do, start by searching online or browse catalogs from extension programs, adult schools, community colleges or The Learning Annex.
Carpe diem!
Do you have a hobby that enriches your life? Share you story by commenting on this blog.
The 411 for 911
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
A Review of The Senior Organizer: Organizing for a Better Quality of Life
If your mother or father had an emergency, would you be prepared? Would you know the answers to key questions? Could you locate their important documents in a hurry?
The authors of The Senior Organizer pooled their talents to create an essential tool for seniors and their caregivers or family members. Authors Debby S. Bitticks, Lynn Benson and Dorothy K. Breininger are experts in the fields of social work, senior care and organizing. They have created a workbook to store all your personal information in one place. Now you can track medications, schedule appointments and eliminate errors to protect your loved ones.
Part One captures personal and medical information. It’s a good place to record big issues like health insurance and small issues like pet care, personal grooming or clothing sizes. Gathering the information can be a rich experience as your parents reminisce about their history, their friends and their religious or personal customs.
Part Two contains sections to record legal and financial information. It includes topics such as bank accounts, investments, tax data, real estate, retirement benefits and legal arrangements. Some of the pages are marked confidential. The authors suggest that you tear out those pages and store them in a secure place to protect against identity fraud.
A Quick Reference Guide is keyed to the pages that would be most helpful in an emergency. It references sections on emergency information, medications, current health issues, medical history and more. There’s even a handy list of items to pack in an emergency overnight bag.
The Senior Organizer will become your bible and the first thing you grab in an emergency. Using the workbook will help you prevent mistakes and save critical time. You’ll sleep better knowing everything is documented in one place. You won’t have to hunt for information or keep it all in your head.
Baby boomers would do well to purchase two copies of this book–one for their parents and one for themselves. For your convenience, we have included The Senior Organizer in the Amazon Associates store on this site.